


At the Break of Dawn

by mydnightashes



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Beaches, Fluff, HwanHee Emotional Support Boys, Light Angst, M/M, Seoho is Bad at Feelings, Soulmates, Sunrises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydnightashes/pseuds/mydnightashes
Summary: After that first night at the beach with his parents, little Seoho had always wanted to meet his soulmate, but not for the immediate reason one would think. To him, seeing the beauty of the sun rising from the sea was much more important than whatever his soulmate had to offer, and that his first sunrise would be the most beautiful thing he would ever see in his entire lifetime.[A Soulmate!AU where you can’t see the sun, moon and the stars in the sky until you meet your soulmate. All you see when you look at the sky are the most basic of colors...dark blues and black for night, and light blues and white for day.]
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho
Comments: 17
Kudos: 130





	At the Break of Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> The concept for this soulmate au was inspired by the [ONEUS Gangneung Trip](https://youtu.be/NHEQYThS_38?t=833) video where they go to the beach early in the morning to see the sunrise but they never really see it because the sky just turns white HAHAHA in the video Seoho talked about going to the beach twice to see the sunrise but not being able to see it either of the times, so I was moved to write this so he could finally see it~ 
> 
> [small disclaimer]: So I know that Seoho is really from Daejeon but let’s pretend he lives in Gangneung for the plot hehe enjoy!

4:30 am — “Seoho, baby? It’s almost time to go, are you ready?” The little boy turned his head from the window with a view of the empty shoreline, “Let’s go.”

Three sets of footprints were seen trailing along the sand until they stopped at a dune. Seoho and his parents sat on some blankets they had laid out, chatting amongst themselves, while waiting for the first signs of the black sky changing to light. The boy squinted his eyes out at the horizon to try and catch a glimpse of an orb, or a beam possibly peering out of the surface of the water, but to no avail. 

He sighed as he heard his mother gleefully gasp, while pointing to the spot he was just staring at. “Honey look!” she cried excitedly, while Seoho’s father smiled at her energetic gesturing, “There it goes!” The child could only watch his parents excitedly smile at an invisible object as the sky slowly morphed from a black to a dull white. 

  
  


Seoho lived in Gangneung which is located at the east coast of South Korea, right by the beachside, and every weekend he and his parents would go out to the shore early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Well... _they_ would watch the sunrise, while _he_ watched the skies change from a dark blueish black to a luminous shade of white. 

As a child, Seoho was always in awe by the way the skies changed from darkness to light. He was used to seeing just the plain colors of the sky, with the occasional clouds only coming in whenever it would rain, and he assumed that _that_ was the sunrise his parents had gushed about constantly, but as he grew older, he realized that the sunrise was _much more_ than just the concept of night to day. 

His father had described seeing it for the first time as the most breathtaking view he had ever seen. They looked out at the horizon together, little Seoho seated on his dad’s lap curiously taking all of the words, trying to picture an image in his brain as his father described the warm glow of an orb slowly rising out of the water, bright rays shooting out of it into the atmosphere, turning the skies into a beautiful bright slew of colors unlike anything he’s seen before he saw Seoho’s mother. 

After the first night that they watched the sunrise together, Seoho _yearned_ for that day to finally come to him...the day he met his soulmate. But it wasn’t because he wanted to find the person he was supposed to be with for forever, he was much more excited to see the rays of sun rise up from the sea, to feel that burst of emotion his parents felt when they first met, to be able to finally understand the beauty of how the light arises from the darkness, in what his mother described as a hopeful sensation, as it symbolized the start of a new day. 

To little Seoho, he knew deep in his gut that seeing the sunrise was much more important to him than whatever his soulmate had to offer, and that his first sunrise would be the most beautiful thing he would ever see in his entire lifetime. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


“Did you hear about what happened in the courtyard during lunch time?”

Seoho looked down at his best friend, Hwanwoong, who was currently immersed in the notes he was reading. “Huh? What happened?” he asked. 

The elder sighed and sat down in front of Hwanwoong, pulling his notebook away from him abruptly. “A girl, one of my upperclassmen in my course actually,” he added, “was rushing to the next building and she ran into this guy from the basketball team, then suddenly both of them could see the noontime sun shining on both of them.” Seoho sighed once more, looking around the cafeteria they were in, trying to find an unknown face in the mass of students who were forced to stay on campus for summer sessions, the two of them included. 

Hwanwoong heaved, grabbing his notebook back. “You know, looking around campus and staring at every student you see isn’t going to help you find your soulmate, Seoho.” He was met with a pout in reply. 

“Besides, didn’t you want to meet them back home in Gangneung?” he questioned. 

Seoho nodded. “I do, of course. Why do you think I’ve been going home every week or two? I _need_ to find my soulmate there so I can see the sunrise from the beach—” he was abruptly cut off by Hwanwoong’s groan as he repeated his sentiments “—from the beach, because you want your first sun to be majestic and magical like when your parents met, yes I know, I know, you never let me forget it.” 

And he was not kidding. Seoho really never let any of his friends forget his thoughts on soulmate meets. 

Every time he heard of a new case of soulmates meeting, he would always sulk to his friends no matter what they were doing at the time, be it studying, having dinner, heck there was even a time when he was listening to a radio show where the guest had talked about a case of soulmates meeting and he had burst into his apartment’s bathroom—eliciting an ear piercing scream from his roommate Keonhee, who was in the middle of doing his business, to sigh and rant over how _long_ it was taking for him to meet his own soulmate, and how he wished he could go back home to the beach and just _hope_ to dear god that he would run into the poor soul, lock eyes with them, preferably at night, and run off to the coast to wait for the sun to rise, soulmate be damned.

(Let’s just say Keonhee forced him to buy dinner for the next week as an apology for getting into his private space.)

His friends were really, _really_ tired of his soulmate talk. He was just lucky none of them had the heart to tell him to shut up for life. They were used to his rants in most cases, but sometimes they silently prayed that Seoho would find his soulmate, finally see the sunrise, and they could go back to a more peaceful time without all their friend’s whining. 

For some reason, there were more cases of soulmates meeting—or “sun-spotting” as Seoho called it—that summer, and they weren’t sure how much more ranting they could handle for the next 8 weeks of summer sessions. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


“Hey,” A backpack dropped onto the floor beside Seoho’s desk in the lecture room, as its owner occupied the seat to his right, “a new case just happened, with one of the summer teaching assistants, apparently.” Seoho looked over and smiled at the boy, Geonhak, while he settled himself in his seat, preparing his notebooks for the new lecture.

Geonhak was a friend that tolerated his soulmate talk pretty well. Seoho knew him from another friend, but they had never talked as much until they found out they were in the same lecture class for that summer. Out of all his friends, Geonhak probably just as updated with the news of soulmate cases around their campus as Seoho was, and he wondered if he always was just as informed as he was, or if he had tried to learn more because of his own rants. 

Seoho raised his eyebrows in curiosity, “a TA and a student?” 

The other shrugged. “That sounds like a recipe for a disaster, don’t you think?”

He wasn’t so sure, but the question went over his head as his thoughts went to whatever was invisible in the sky at the time. “It happened during the night time, apparently.” Geonhak added. “The student described seeing the stars for the first time like there was _glitter_ in the sky.” 

“Glitter? You’re kidding me, right?” he scoffed. What a childish way to describe the spots in the sky. Most, if not all of the stars people could see in the sky were dead anyways. To Seoho, they weren't anywhere near as impressive as how his parents always described the sun, the closest and most beautiful star, to him. 

“That’s just what I heard. Don’t you think that’s cool, though? The sky filled with shiny stuff beats the boring black we have to see every night.” Geonhak pointed out. 

Seoho ignored his seatmate’s statement, “Still doesn’t sound as cool as how the sun glows. How do you think the sun looked to them when they first saw it?” he heard the other chuckle and sigh, not immediately replying. 

He turned to his side to see the boy slowly scribbling something onto his notebook, his other hand covering it from Seoho’s view. Without realizing it, he found himself slowly moving his eyes from Geonhak’s hands to his face, noting how concentrated he looked, how his lips pursed together and how his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as his eyes locked onto the page.

Seoho continued to observe his seatmate’s features until the notebook was tossed onto his desk, knocking him out of his mini-trance. He quickly looked down to focus on a drawing of a small circle with 8 triangles protruding out of its circumference, with a small smiley face in the middle. It was well...a sun. Be it the “sun” they were taught how to draw back in preschool. Beside it was a small crescent shape, also donning a smiley face to go along with the sun, surrounded by dots which he assumed were supposed to represent stars.

“Now listen...I know we both can’t see the sun but even I can tell that the actual sun, moon and stars don’t look remotely close to— _this._ ” he gestured to the drawing, trying to hold back his chuckles. “This just further proves my point too that the sun is definitely way cooler to look at than your glitter dots!” In return, he received a light punch to his arm, as Seoho cracked and laughed at his brooding seatmate. 

“I was just answering your question, okay! Now give it back since you don’t like it, I need to start writing notes.” But before Geonhak could grab the notebook back, Seoho immediately ripped the page out, folding it neatly and placing it in his bag. “No, no, it’s fine! I like it, it was cute.” 

“For someone with shitty drawing skills, that is.” He was met with another punch to the arm after that statement, which only made him laugh once again, just as their professor stepped into the room to start the new lesson.

Halfway through the lecture, Seoho’s thoughts drifted to the drawing folded up in his bag. Thinking about it, Seoho truthfully appreciated Geonhak’s gesture. It was normal for the two of them to engage in playful banter, or random discussions, like he did with all his friends, even if they weren’t as close as he was with Keonhee and Hwanwoong, but that was the first time Geonhak had gone out of his way to do something a little extra, even if it was just a simple line drawing that a 4 year old could make. 

Something stirred in him for a second, a jolt of pain coursing the back of his eyes for a moment before disappearing. He looked over to his seatmate who was quietly taking down notes as their professor jotted down equations on the board. 

_Huh._

Maybe the sun and moon talk was finally getting to his head. Literally.

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


Their sun and moon discussions dwindled after that. The two continued with their daily banter before class started, sometimes talking about the latest soulmate couple on campus, to arguing over how much more homework they were given, compared to the previous semester. Sometimes, if they arrived at the classroom early, they would be joined by their friends, everyone engaging in light conversations before their professor walked in and the others had to book it out of the room. 

Seoho couldn’t stop himself from sneaking some looks at his friend beside him every once in a while though. 

He tried not to let himself get caught, but after that day he watched Geonhak work on the cute drawing he kept, he realized that he really liked watching Geonhak’s facial expressions while focused on his task.

~~Or maybe just Geonhak in general.~~

One day while Keonhee and Hwanwoong were talking about the latest comeback of a girl group they followed, Seoho once again found himself slipping away from the conversation, leaning back into his seat to subconsciously gaze at Geonhak, who was having an intense discussion with his friends Youngjo and Dongju over where they would eat after class. 

He noted on the way his nose scrunched up and his lips pouted ever so slightly whenever one wouldn’t agree with his argument, to how his cheeks lightly puffed up when he smiled a certain way, and how his normally deep voice translated to a hearty and vibrant chuckle that easily infected anyone who heard it to smile too. 

“Hey, Seoho! Are you even listening to us?” He snapped his head back to his two friends, nonchalantly replying, as if he wasn’t lost in his thoughts previously. “Sorry, what were you saying?” 

Keonhee shook his head in disbelief, while Hwanwoong shot the elder a curious look, eyes jotting back and forth between Seoho and the three boys at the desk beside them, not stating a word while Keonhee repeated himself for Seoho to hear. _Damnit_ . He thought, as they went back to their conversation. _Stop getting distracted._

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


It was the beginning of July, around halfway through the summer term, when Seoho really started feeling the bulk of university work given in such a short period of time. Unlike Hwanwoong and Keonhee, who had already experienced summer and winter sessions in their previous years of university, Seoho only had to take them now that he was an incoming senior, and he felt like he was about to break at any moment. 

Not only was the amount of schoolwork weighing him down, but it was the added fact that he had to sacrifice going back home to Gangneung for the entire summer term making him feel more dismal than he normally did. 

[ _“Mom.”_

_“Seoho, my honey, I miss you so much! How has your summer term been so far?”_

_“It’s been great mom. But I have some bad news… I don’t think I can go back home this weekend…”_

_“Oh? Did something happen to you over there? Do we need to come to check up on you?”_

_“It’s nothing mom, I’m just really busy, please forgive me. There’s more work now than I expected, since we have full day classes everyday and I have exams and presentations coming up...I don’t think I’ll be able to go home until the summer sessions end_ _—_ _”_

 _“Ah, it’s okay honey, don’t worry. Your academics are more important than being here right now, especially in your last year of school_ _—_ _”_

 _“But...but what if my soulmate is there and I miss my chance of meeting them? Then I’ll never have my moment like you and dad did.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Honey, you’re already an adult. You can’t just run back here every week and pray that you’re going to get what you want. That’s not how it works. Everyone meets their soulmates when they least expect them to.”_

 _“With my luck, I’ll meet my soulmate by the ripe age of 80 years old while I’m wilting away trapped in a hospital bed. Then I really will never see the beauty of the sun_ _—”_

_“Hey, Lee Seoho, your time will come, alright? Don’t waste the memories you could make over there just because you’re waiting for one person. The beach and sun will stay as beautiful as it was then and it will always be waiting for you no matter what.”]_

  
His last class of the day was his subject with Geonhak, and by that time, Seoho was too exhausted to even focus on the new lesson since they had just taken an exam the day before, and he still hadn’t caught up on the sleep he desperately needed. Entering the room, he quickly dropped all his belongings on the ground, sat down and slumped onto his desk, trying to get some rest before the class started. 

He must have been knocked out cold or something, because he slowly woke up from a gentle shaking of his shoulders and a deep voice lightly calling out his name. “Seoho...Seoho, hey wake up.” His eyes blinked open to see Geonhak standing beside his desk, a hand resting on Seoho’s shoulder. 

Still in a daze, he sat up and looked around the room to find it completely empty, with only the two of them remaining. “You look like you had a good nap.” he heard Geonhak laugh, as he slowly started processing what just happened.

“I slept through the entire period?” Seoho questioned. “Keonhee mentioned that you’ve been doing a bunch of all-nighters recently. You needed the rest.” 

A can of cola was placed on his desktop. “It’s to get your energy levels back up. I read that sugar helps.” He looked up at the younger boy with a smile, which was quickly reciprocated. For a brief moment, Seoho felt a similar sting he once felt before rising behind his eyes, but he quickly dismissed it as it faded just as fast as it arose. It probably was because he just woke up, he thought. 

“Thanks.”

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


Geonhak offered to walk him back to his apartment. 

It was the first time they had spent together—just the two of them— after class and Seoho was grateful for his presence. While they talked and laughed about just any topic that came to mind, Seoho was certain that he felt a sense of comfort and warmth being with him, different from times he was alone with Hwanwoong, or even with Keonhee at home.

While waiting at an intersection for the crosswalk light to turn green, two adults suddenly approached them, one holding up a cellphone with the camera application open. “Excuse me? Would you mind taking a picture of us with the view of the sky?” Geonhak politely agreed while Seoho stood beside him to observe the interaction. 

In his eyes, the sky was tinted the normal grayish blue he saw every day, slowly starting to fade into the familiar black of night time. He watched the couple pose cutely through the phone’s camera, and how Geonhak neatly fit in a large chunk of the sky, with the buildings at the intersection aesthetically situated at the borders of the photo to highlight the open space of the background, while the couple stood in the center middleground. 

_They look happy together._

Once again, his eyes drifted from the camera in Geonhak’s hands to his face. For a guy who people around campus were a little intimidated by, be it because of his deep voice or his muscular build, he had pretty small and incredibly soft features, Seoho noticed. Every time he had the chance to just observe Geonhak, Seoho found himself learning more and more about him and his features, down to the smallest details that made him unique. 

It amused him, and yet turning back to the couple smiling widely, he felt a pit of dread slowly form in the bottom of his stomach, a sensation that didn’t sit well with him at all. The pain behind his eyes sparked up again, lasting much longer and only stopping when the couple walked back to them. 

When Geonhak gave the cellphone back, the couple was ecstatic. The taller of the two excitedly pointed to the phone, “Oh, look at the sunset, it’s perfect! I’m sorry if you can’t see it, but you really captured it beautifully, this is a gorgeous picture, thank you!” Seoho grinned while Geonhak sheepishly muttered a “you’re welcome” as the couple rushed to cross the road.

“Wow, Geonhak! First the drawing, then my cola, and now taking pictures for soulmates? What a gentleman you are.” Seoho teased, earning him a light smack on the arm, nothing that hurt him, but he could see the tips of the younger’s ears turn pink. “It’s nothing really...It doesn’t hurt to be nice to people you know?”

Seoho gazed at him, pondering on the situation they were just in. “Are you really that nice to everyone?” Geonhak nodded, “I would have taken it for anyone, it just so happened that they were soulmates. I bet their picture really did look great.” 

The former thought back to all the times he had observed Geonhak in class and how he acted whenever he was with Youngjo and Dongju. They always played around, most of the times them having childish banters, with Geonhak chasing them around the room when they picked on a certain nerve of his, yet no matter how often he and Seoho had bickered in class, there was always a sense of fondness looming in the air around them, never any tension taking shape. Nor chasing..

“You know, I think you’re nicer to me than you are to Youngjo and Dongju sometimes.” Geonhak tilted his head, raising his brows in question. “And how would you know that, Seoho?”

He didn’t even hesitate when stating his observations. “You steal Youngjo’s snacks and Dongju always bites you when you argue over something.” 

Seoho was met with silence, and then he realized he had basically just blurted out that he subconsciously observed Geonhak when they were with their friends in the lecture room. Before he could start his internal breakdown however, the younger chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah. You’re right.” 

_He didn’t mind?_

_Oh._

They went back to silence, but this time Seoho could feel a little tension in the air. He felt as if there was something around them pushing him forward to speak up again. Perhaps it was the fatigue he was feeling or the events of that afternoon as a whole getting him to be more open, but he couldn’t stop himself from speaking again.

“What if I never meet them, Geonhak?” he suddenly asked, once they reached the road of Seoho’s apartment building. “What if I’m just destined to never see the beauty that every pair of linked souls get to see?”

The other shook his head in disbelief, “Why are you thinking like that...All of us will meet our soulmates when the time is right. Just because some people on campus meet each other now, that doesn’t mean you won’t meet your other half eventually, you know.” 

They both stopped walking, their hands in their pockets while the wind rustled the leaves of the trees above them. “Is this really about you wanting to see the sunrise back in Gangneung?”

Seoho took a deep breath, while staring at the ground. “Sometimes, I’m scared. To meet them. Aren’t you?” 

He listened to Geonhak’s sigh, devoid of any emotion. “Honestly...I thought I wasn’t, but now I’m not so sure if I’m ready for them yet. No matter when I meet them though, be it tomorrow, or in the next few years, they’re who the universe wanted for me, and I can’t change that.” 

“What about you? Why are you scared?” Geonhak added.

It was a question Seoho thought he was ready to answer, since he brought up the topic in the first place, but hearing it come from Geonhak’s lips sent his mind into a blank state. Seoho’s heart started to pound harder than it normally did. He felt the stinging in his eyes come back, but he tried to push the sensations away. He looked back up to lock eyes with Geonhak, who gave him the softest and warmest of smiles Seoho had ever seen from him, offering a small nod for him to continue speaking.

Suddenly he understood why he felt the prickling sensations behind his eyes. Why a sense of dread started to hit him harder and harder the longer he spent by Geonhak’s side. Seoho knew what he was feeling, yet he couldn’t find the right words to say. He searched through the haze in his brain, the gurgling in his throat, and around the jumbled up tension in his heart, but he was at a loss. Then he dug a little further down and he found them, right at the bottom of the pit in his stomach where it was darker than the blackest of night skies. “I’m scared because…”

 _… I think I’m falling._

And falling was dangerous. 

“Soulmates are... _bound_ to each other. For one reason or another, they’re supposed to be the only ones in the world for each other and recently I’ve thought...what if I don’t want to be bound to someone?” he held his breath, waiting. He watched Geonhak’s eyes quiver for a moment, looking uncertain with how he would respond. “But not meeting your soulmate means...you won’t be able to see the sun, moon and stars, Seoho. Isn’t that really what you wanted?” he softly asked.

_I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore, Geonhak._

_I want you._

Seoho shut his eyes, quickly turning away and letting out a huge exhale. “I’m sorry.” He felt the pain in his head escalate, and he just needed an escape. “I need to go.” Before he could be stopped, his feet dashed off to his apartment, leaving Geonhak all alone.

_But I can’t have you._

_Because when I’m with you, I still can’t see anything._

_And I don’t know what hurts more, the fact that I can’t see something I’ve been dreaming about since I was a child, or the fact that there is no possibility on earth that we have a chance to be together._

_I’m scared that I’m going to meet my soulmate, and dread it because they’re not_ you _._

_And they never will be you._

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


“He’s been asleep since I’ve arrived! I don’t know what happened, he normally isn’t like this—”

“Youngjo told me something might have happened in class a while ago, but we’re not so sure with all the details yet. Let’s just ask him when he wakes up—”

  
  


Seoho slowly sat up on his bed, blindly looking around his dark room. It was clearly night time, because the only things illuminating the room were the faint glow of the streetlamps coming in through his window in contrast to the black sky, and he lights coming through the bottom of his door from outside. 

He remembered entering the empty apartment, immediately making his way to his room without a word. He vaguely recalled how all he could think about was his time with Geonhak, and how he felt the dismay in his stomach grow, while the pain in his head increased until he fell asleep. 

He woke up feeling...dull. The excessive amount of emotion he had felt that afternoon, partnered with his stress from school probably tired him out to a greater extent than he had thought. The throbbing behind his eyes was still there, but he was slowly learning to ignore it’s presence, pushing the pain to the back of his thoughts. 

Making no noise, he slowly exited his bedroom to see Keonhee and Hwanwoong in the living room, the former pacing the space and the other busy tapping something into his phone. After hearing the floorboards creak however, he quickly looked up with a concerned expression. “Seoho! Are you okay? Are you feeling sick or something?”

“I’ve just been feeling it recently, I think.” Seoho sighed, sitting beside Hwanwoong on the sofa and leaning on his shoulder. Even with the nap, his thoughts were still jumbled inside of his head. Thoughts about school, about his family, about soulmates, about Geonhak, and everything in between. He wasn’t sure how he would address his situation in a way his friends would understand, and it honestly _scared_ him to try and bring it up and have them not understand how he was feeling. 

“Feeling what?” the younger asked.

Instead of answering the question however, he continued on, “How would _you_ feel if you realized you were falling in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate?” Keonhee let out a loud gasp, climbing over the sofa to gawk at Seoho while Hwanwoong spared a small but sad smile and a light sigh, patting Seoho’s shoulder in sympathy. He already had his suspicions from observing how the elder acted around Geonhak in the lecture room weeks back and he knew it would have had to happen sooner or later.

And yet, it saddened him knowing that his speculations were true.

He wanted his best friend to be happy—to see the sunrise alongside the person he was destined to love and be with. Seoho was so close, as he finally found one half to the equation to solve for his love. But knowing that it wasn’t his soulmate, the one needed to complete the formula, turned it into a heart-breaking scenario for him with probably no resolution where he could get both of the things he wanted. 

It sucked. 

After a while of explaining how he felt about Geonhak to Keonhee, (“I had no idea! Seriously no clue whatsoever.” “Maybe you need to be more observant then.” “Yah—I’m still older than you Hwanwoong, don’t disrespect me like that.”) The trio sat in a more calm and peaceful silence, taking all of the new information in. 

Seoho was feeling a little bit better now. Having his friends know and understand his situation increased his feeling of comfort that he was going to make it past this complicated myriad of feelings he was going through. 

Without anyone talking, however, as the two were back to using their phones, Seoho was suddenly reminded of the pain behind his eyes that he shoved to the back of his brain. The pain that he assumed was a result of falling for someone who wasn’t destined to be with him. Maybe it was a punishment for not waiting long enough. His eyes and head would burn because they had been drawn to the wrong person, so not only would he still not see the sun, moon and stars, but he would have to pay the consequences for looking at someone else the way he was supposed to look at his soulmate and the celestial bodies. 

It was a decent punishment, he deemed. If the sting in his head was strong enough, it could possibly mask the ache in his heart.

“You know, Youngjo called me a while ago and asked me to check up on you.” Hwanwoong mentioned over his phone, “That’s why I came over. He said Geonhak told him you ran from him and he was worried.”

Seoho scoffed. “He was worried? He shouldn’t be. I’m the one with the problem, not him.”

“Dongju texted me about it too when I got back home.” Keonhee added. “You didn’t confess to Geonhak right? He doesn’t know anything about this?”

“No.” he firmly stated, looking up at the ceiling as his head started to throb once more. “He doesn’t need to know. That wouldn’t help either of our situations.”

“But wouldn’t talking to him help you with moving on? Maybe if you do, your head won’t hurt anymore—”

“Guys I can’t. Really. I just figured out my feelings for him today, and that in and of itself is a huge mess already.” he looked back down at his friends, trying to keep a small smile, which clearly didn’t mask how much he was dreading even the thought of trying to interact with Geonhak now. “As much as I know how amazing the feeling of seeing the sunrise for the first time will be, falling in love for the first time just feels different. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to feel the way I do with Geonhak again, even when I meet my actual soulmate down the road.”

“Talking to him isn’t going to help me move on, I already know it. Just being with him is going to give me more reasons to continue falling. What’s the point of falling even more when we both know that no matter what happens to our relationship, we both can’t and _won’t_ see anything in the sky. He doesn’t deserve baggage like that.” 

He’ll let himself hurt a little more, on his own. He didn’t want to drag Geonhak into his emotional distress more than he already was involved in it. Geonhak didn’t need to see him in this vulnerable state. Seoho didn’t need him to know that he was the reason for his hurt, either. He didn’t want Geonhak to change how he viewed him, even if it was probably just as a friend and nothing more. 

“So what are you going to do?” Keonhee asked. Simple. Seoho’s solution was to distance himself from Geonhak as much as he could. It was the perfect plan.

“I need a favor from you two. Can you ask Youngjo and Dongju to tell Geonhak I need space first, please? We have class tomorrow and I don’t want to have to explain anything for now."

The two friends thought that his plan was stupid. They didn’t want him to get hurt, and they feared that it wouldn’t be the best way to keep him at ease, but eventually, they complied with Seoho’s request. As much as they wanted to see him happy and in love, if he claimed that distancing himself from Geonhak would help him with his emotions, they would aid him to do so. 

Now all Seoho had to do was pray the migraines would go away. And maybe his feelings if possible. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


It’s been over a week since the incident. He still feels like shit.

He stuck to his plan and rigorously avoided talking to Geonhak. The day after his episode when it was time for their class together, Seoho immediately chose a seat at a desk in the front of the lecture room, Keonhee and Hwanwoong wordlessly following him to his new location as they continued on with their routine pre-lecture banter. Moments later, Seoho caught a glimpse of the other trio climbing up the steps to their normal seats for the class at the back of the room. 

Once his professor dismissed the class, Seoho quickly packed up his things and left, trying not to spare a glance at Geonhak on the way out. He repeatedly told himself he didn’t see Geonhak watching him exit the room with a sad look on his face. He didn’t see anything. His throbbing head must have been making him imagine things, he thought. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


A few days after, before Seoho could routinely escape the lecture room, Geonhak had approached his desk. _I thought they told you to stay away._ He could feel the familiar sting rise behind his eyes once again, “Hey. Are you doing anything after class? Can we talk—” 

“I’m sorry, I can’t. Didn’t Youngjo and Dongju tell you not to talk to me?” Seoho’s heart was beating wildly as the pain intensified all of a sudden. It had been a while since it hurt that much and he knew he had to get out of there. “Seoho please I just want to tell you—” 

_Tell me what, Geonhak? That I’m a jerk for cutting you off all of a sudden? I already know that. That you miss talking to me in the back of the room? I do too. Or what...That you’re feeling the same way I do? Hah, I’m being stupid, you would never. You shouldn’t._

“Don’t. Don’t tell me anything. I have to go study. Bye, Geonhak.” 

Geonhak didn’t run after him. Which was good for the throbbing in his head. But the ache in his heart didn’t seem to go away anymore as he continued to circumvent any interaction with the younger anyways. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


Seoho fell asleep in class again. 

He faintly remembered hearing the bell ring, signalling the end of the period and he decided to doze back into a half-asleep-like state as he waited for the sounds of footsteps exiting the room to die down. He felt something lightly bump his table at one point, but he decided to keep his head tucked under his arms, too tired from a lack of sleep to complain. 

When he was sure the room was dead silent, he lifted his head and stretched up, releasing all of the knots and cracks in his back from the bad sleeping posture. Looking back down to his desk, his eyes locked on a small can of cola at the corner of the surface. He felt the slightest hint of a jolt course up his spine and Seoho didn’t even need to look at the note taped to it to know who it came from. 

The two sentences confirmed his thoughts, and the handwriting just blatantly gave it away. _[To get your energy levels up. Sugar helps.]_ He could even hear the deep voice speaking those exact words from that day. Beside it was a small drawing of a sun with a smiley face, just like the one on the scrap piece of notebook he couldn’t find the heart to get rid of yet. 

Seoho couldn’t help but smile at the message, even if it came from the boy he was trying to kick out of his heart. Distancing himself from him seemed to be the perfect solution to the hurt he felt, and yet as the days without talking to the younger continued on, he realized that absence really makes the heart grow fonder. 

Somewhere in the middle of the pit of dread that filled up his stomach when he thought of Geonhak, beyond the flashes behind his eyes and the ache in his brain, was the smallest glimmer of endearment that he could never get rid of. He was enamored with Geonhak, to be frank. It was that fondness from the beginning of their friendship that started his trainwreck of feelings in the first place.

His feelings...that meant nothing to the universe. 

Seoho sighed as he let the dread surround the tiny ball of fondness once more. To fall was strike one, but to hope, hope that Geonhak’s gestures were anything more than friendly was strike two. Heck, even if they were, pursuing him or acting on his emotions would be the third strike, and who knows what the universe would have done to show him he was “out.” 

.

.

.

Geonhak peeked into the empty lecture room when he was certain he heard Seoho’s footsteps exit the room. He felt his heart deflate as he looked at the new desk Seoho occupied.

The can of cola was gone, but the note was left taped on the table’s surface. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


It was almost the end of the summer term. It had been a few weeks since Seoho left Geonhak’s note back in the lecture room, and he still felt some form of guilt whenever he thought back to that day. He repeatedly told himself that it had to be done, to make sure the Geonhak wouldn’t try to talk to him again, and he wouldn’t try to engage in anything concerning his feelings for him. He just had to get through the remaining days of the term, then he could go home and sulk by the beach once again, waiting for whoever would trigger his vision to see the sun, moon and stars like always.

However, the universe once again decided to mess with his plans through yep, Geonhak again. 

Exams were over, and the last week of the term was dedicated to the submissions of the students’ final projects and papers. That week was apparently also the week of Geonhak’s birthday, and much to his hesitation, Hwanwoong and Keonhee (and Youngjo and Dongju through chat) ~~guilt-tripped~~ convinced him to come to their surprise party for him. It was the least he could do for the younger, after averting him for so long, and to be honest, Seoho wanted to get rid of some of the guilt inside of him before leaving for Gangneung, and never interacting with Geonhak again. 

This was how he found himself hiding in Geonhak and Youngjo’s apartment’s living room in the pitchblack darkness while all the lights were turned off and windows covered with curtains, behind the sofa holding a small but decorated envelope-wrapped letter, waiting for the clock to strike 12. Each of them had written letters to Geonhak for their surprise, and the plan was to read them to him after he blew his birthday candles off. At first, Dongju had asked him to hold the cake as well, but the idea was quickly shot down with Seoho’s worry that he would suddenly feel the burning behind his eyes flare up when he looked at Geonhak, making him drop the cake in shock. 

To say Seoho was nervous was an understatement. 

He hadn’t seen Geonhak properly in weeks. He did an amazing job of avoiding him in class, but even with their distance in the lecture hall, the sting in his head still set off, even if it wasn’t as strong as on the day of the incident. As the end of the term approached, Seoho really thought that the pain would lessen per day, but instead it seemed to increase and he didn’t understand why. He was worried about what would happen that night, as he now had to not only look at Geonhak in the eye, but he had to _talk to_ him, a complete 180 from his current routine. 

He felt the comforting hands of Hwanwoong and Keonhee squeeze his arms in reassurance. “It’ll be okay. You got this.” Right as he nodded in agreement, the room went silent as the four listened to the sounds of Youngjo and Geonhak approaching the living room. Suddenly, the clock rang, signalling midnight, the lights turned on, and everyone jumped up from behind the sofa, cake and letters in hands yelling “Happy Birthday Geonhak!”

It was a pleasant experience to see Geonhak so shocked at the surprise but it was odd to see how much Geonhak’s features had changed from the last time they’d talked. Amongst the chaos of decking Geonhak out in a corny birthday hat and Hwanwoong and Youngjo fighting over how to use a lighter for the candles, Seoho quickly realized that he hadn’t observed his face for the longest time, and he quickly noted how there were traces of darkness underneath his eyes, obvious signs of lack of sleep, even if his face was lit up in disbelief and laughter at their antics.

What he didn’t notice however was the lack of any pain stirring up behind his eyes, nor the dread pit form in his stomach. 

The group decided to make Seoho the last of the five to read his letter to Geonhak. Big whoop. It would help with his closure, Keonhee said. Geonhak will really appreciate it, Dongju said. You don’t need to make it long, Youngjo said. You’ll be fine, Hwanwoong said. Blah blah blah. His friends said many things, but that didn’t stop him from feeling anxious.

Actually, he was internally freaking out. He spent the entire night trying to write his letter, and he still wasn’t sure if it was good enough. He wanted to be honest with Geonhak, while keeping it as short as possible, but he had too much on his mind, without the composure to organize his thoughts and write them down properly. Thinking about it while the rest of the group read their own letters however made Seoho want to jump out a window, in shame and embarrassment. 

By his turn, Seoho’s felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest, and everyone, especially Geonhak could tell. The elder couldn’t even look up from the envelope he was clutching out of nervousness. 

“Hey,” he looked up and suddenly locked eyes with Geonhak, the birthday boy shooting him a small, shy but _genuine_ smile, the one where his cheeks puffed up ever so slightly, and Seoho was brought back to the day he first figured out his true feelings for the boy. That small smile filled with warmth, suddenly brought back the pit of dread in his stomach in full force, causing him to cough, trying to keep the feeling of incoming tears down and away. 

He just had to get through this, then he’d be free. 

To cry. 

No pressure. 

Inside the envelope was a folded piece of notebook paper. Seoho knew Geonhak would recognize it immediately, which is why he decided to use it in the first place. He downheartedly chuckled as he looked at the page, “Happy birthday, Geonhak. I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you for the past few weeks. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all my fault don’t worry—Ah, I told myself I wasn’t going to cry…” He sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, avoiding Geonhak’s eyes as he continued. _You need to be strong Seoho. Just finish this._

“You are the sweetest person to walk this planet. You understood my weirdness and obsession with soulmates, and you never judged me for it. Thank you for trying to give me the sun, moon and stars— “ 

He sighed and let out a small melancholic laugh. 

“—despite the fact we are _never_ meant to see them for the first time together. And even when we meet our own soulmates and finally see those celestial bodies we’ve always talked about in the sky everyday…” he suddenly trailed off, lost in his thoughts that went back to the beginning of the term. He quietly smiled and brushed his thumb against the slightly faded ink on the sheet. 

He could hear his friends’ whispers of confusion behind him. “...are you done Seoho?” _Was that Hwanwoong?_ Seoho wasn’t really sure. 

He looked up from the letter to look at Geonhak, who had his head tilted in confusion when the elder’s voice faded before ending his message. He looked almost concerned in a way? He could see the question in Geonhak’s eyes without him even asking it. “Even if we do...Then what?” His voice was gentle, cautious and kind, like he was treading on eggshells, and it reminded Seoho of another reason why he fell for him in the first place. He gulped, dropping the letter on the table for Geonhak to see. 

_“I will always love the ones you gave me the most.”_

The words were written right beside a drawing...Geonhak’s drawing that he made for him. Everyone stayed silent, as Geonhak switched his gaze back and forth from the letter to Seoho, utter _disbelief_ written all over his face. It was as if he couldn’t believe that Seoho had just kinda confessed to him right then and there. 

Panic started to spread through Seoho’s thoughts. This was supposed to be his moment of closure from Geonhak. Confess then move on. He was ready for a quick rejection, maybe a fake chuckle with an “okay bro, it’s totally all good bro” moment, but he couldn’t read him. He tried to search his face for something else, all his features down to the damn crinkles in between his eyebrows, but he looked like a statue. 

It was unnerving. _Is the concept of me loving you too much to handle?_ Seoho quickly shook his head, slipping out of the room, out to the apartment’s balcony. He could hear a chair scrape against the floor, followed by Youngjo’s muffled voice. “Just give him a minute, okay? We all knew—” He slammed the glass shut before he could finish hearing the sentence. 

Seoho leaned over the balcony’s railing, cradling his face in his hands, willing his heart rate to go down. It was over. He finally got his feelings off his chest. His mission was over, and now he needed to accept the fact that he just had to move on from Geonhak, and go back to his old routine of looking and pining for his actual soulmate so he could finally see the sun, moon and—wait.

He blinked. In between his fingers he could see a white glow coming from somewhere above him. He uncovered his face and looked up at the sky to see a bright, glowing _orb_ . Confused, he blinked a few more times and small twinkles of light started appearing around the orb, popping up one at a time until the entire sky was filled with a beautiful array of twinkling “...stars.” he whispered, enchanted by how _alive_ the sky suddenly turned. 

Tilting his head back to observe the sky from another angle, he couldn’t help but grin, the uneasiness in his stomach disappearing completely. He was so used to seeing black every night that he couldn’t turn his eyes away from the beauty of the night being illuminated by what Seoho then realized was a stunning full moon. 

_Wow_. 

The sliding door rustled open behind him, but the boy was too entranced by the night sky to pay whoever opened it any attention. “Hey, are you doing okay?” It was Hwanwoong’s voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to move a muscle to his best friend. “What are you looking at out there?”

While he stayed silent continuing to watch the stars glisten, he heard a different set of footsteps step out of the door onto the balcony with him. He already knew who those steps belonged to. “Seoho.” Weeks of avoiding his presence made it easier for him to figure out when he was by his vicinity, but now he had nowhere to escape to. 

He pleaded again, “Seoho, please let’s talk—” but quickly the deep voice he missed suddenly shut quiet. Bewildered, Seoho turned around to look at Geonhak, whose mouth was agape, staring up at the sky. His gaze glazed over his features once again, tracing along his jaw, past his lips, up his nose then stopping at his eyes. Even after memorizing all the details of his face to memory, there was something different. Seoho halted and caught a glimmer reflecting off of Geonhak’s eyes, suddenly sending a spark of energy behind his own.

And then he _finally_ understood.

“Can you...are you seeing what I’m seeing?” he quietly asked the younger. 

“So _that’s_ how they look like, huh?”

The door behind Geonhak slid open once more as their friends curiously watched the boys’ interaction. “What are you guys looking at?” asked Youngjo, eyes scanning the balcony view. “Are we missing something over here?” 

When the two didn’t reply, it suddenly clicked with the rest of the group. 

“No way.” 

“Holy shit.” 

“Are they…”

 _“Soulmates.”_ Geonhak and Seoho breathed together, lowering their gazes from the sky to look at each other eye to eye for the first time that night, not as friends, but as the beings the universe destined to be together, and as each other’s eyes’ trigger to see the heavenly figures above them. A light bulb switched on in Seoho’s brain, and he then realized why his eyes kept hurting when he was with Geonhak after he realized he was in love with the boy. His eyes _wanted_ to see so badly but Geonhak’s eyes just weren’t ready yet. Not until, well—

A loud _thump_ echoed through the balcony. Geonhak winced, clutching the arm Seoho had just struck. “Y-yah! I was supposed to meet you back home in Gangneung! Why did you trigger it now?!”

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧

  
  


“I can’t believe it took for you to graduate from your teen years just for our eyes to finally see the sky properly…”

It was past 2 am when the group had finished their festivities, now that they had two things to celebrate for. Geonhak had offered to drive Seoho back to his apartment. 

“What about Keonhee?” He had asked, concerned about his roommate who may not have had a ride home that night. Geonhak said he wanted the two of them to take a ride around the city so they could look at the night sky for a little longer and to Seoho’s surprise, his friends didn’t object, claiming they would either find their own way home, or sleepover for the night instead. Hwanwoong even forcefully shoved him out the apartment door, with a sly smile and a cackle that Seoho’s sleepy self didn’t bother to ponder over anymore. 

“So stunning...” Geonhak smiled, turning away from the road for a second to glance at the elder. He must have been talking about the stars, but it almost seemed like he was referring to him.

Seoho stayed silent, lost in his thoughts as he leaned back in his seat, staring up at the sky through the clear window on the roof of the car. He watched the stars glisten, shifting ever so slightly as they drove down the empty avenue while his brain attempted to piece together the events that happened that night. 

For the first time in weeks, he was _relieved_ . He was emotionally worn out, for sure, but it comforted him knowing that he would go back to his apartment, fall asleep in his dingy and messed up room, and wake up to seeing the actual _sun_ for the first time. Nevermind that he wasn’t back home in Gangneung, nor that he wasn’t staying up all night to see how stunning the glowing body of mass changed the sky as it rose from the calm sea waters of the morning. 

He had a soulmate. He actually had a soulmate. And even better, _Geonhak_ was his soulmate. That beautiful face was all his, universe approved. 

Seoho found himself dozing off to sleep just before the car smoothly entered a highway. 

  
  


☾✹･ﾟ: *.・。.・✧ 

  
  


“Seoho...Seoho, hey wake up.” He feels an all too familiar hand gently caress his wrist, tugging at it gently, coaxing him to open his eyes. He blinked a few more times, sitting up to see...the sea?

He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes while he listened to Geonhak quietly mumbling to himself, standing beside his open car door. Seoho was pretty sure he was supposed to be back in his apartment. His nap may have felt longer than he expected, but he had assumed that it was just his body exhausted from the night’s activities. However, that apparently wasn’t the case because while still in his daze, he felt himself get pulled up and lightly dragged out of the car to a blanket set up by the beach shore. “C’mon, it’s almost time.”

“Where are we?” he asked the younger, looking around the beach, confused and very stunned at the situation. “How did we get here? What time is it—”

“Gangneung. It’s almost 5 am and we almost didn’t make it, but you’re home.” 

Seoho jerked his head abruptly to stare at Geonhak in disbelief, he noticed how his ears were turning a dark shade of pink, but decided to not comment on it. “Excuse me, what?”

“I can explain.”

“You’re telling me you drove three hours straight in the middle of the night just to go to the beach? Are you insane?”

“The drive was two and a half hours, to be fair—”

“You were supposed to take me home, to my apartment!”

“Wait, wait, okay just look, look! It’s happening.” Geonhak cut him off, pointing a finger to the horizon and Seoho stopped in his tracks, eyes widening in shock, and heart rate instantly sky rocketing. _There it is._

He watched as the peek of glow slowly emerged out of the water, and his breath hitched as a gleaming figure—the sun slowly started making its way up into the sky. He looked up, the sky filling up with oranges, pinks, and yellows, rays engulfing the atmosphere in a mix of colors and brightness better and more amazing than he could ever imagine. It was like he was on cloud nine, stuck in the high of his dreams.

He felt like his heart was about to explode with all the emotions he had built up from when he was a child, just waiting to experience this day. His ears were ringing in delight, with memories of his parents’ words they had always used to describe the sunrise to him matching up _perfectly_ to what his eyes were seeing. Then beyond the ringing, right in the back of his brain, he heard it. 

A light chuckle. 

He slowly turned his head to look at Geonhak who was chuckling to himself at the sight of him witnessing his first beach sunrise like he had always wanted to, before turning back to watch the sun continue to rise and the sky transform. Seeing a friend, the person he was in love with, standing beside him, actually looking at the same thing he was suddenly brought him back to reality. He wasn’t dreaming, all of this was actually real. 

And it was all because of _him._ The guy who made him a shitty drawing to make him smile, who gave him cola when he was drained and tired, who was worried about his well being even when he was desperately trying to avoid his presence and true feelings, and who went out of his way to drive over two and a half hours straight from Seoul to Gangneung just so that Seoho could see the sunrise back home like he had always gushed about before all his feelings for him even started arising. 

The ringing in his ears suddenly stopped and Seoho couldn’t turn away. One proper look at Geonhak and he found his world turning completely silent. He watched as the rays of light shone across the side of the younger’s face, illuminating his figure in a hearty glow of the beautiful morning sun. 

_That is beautiful._

_No. Wait._

He _is beautiful._

“Hey,” the voice connected to the face sounded. “You’re missing your dream sunrise.”

However, Seoho didn’t move a muscle. He continued to stare at his friend...no his soulmate’s slender face, from his sharp eyes widely looking around at the sky, to his scrunched up nose, down to his small, full lips gawking at the scene. All illuminated by the soft light of the dawn. 

He was suddenly brought back to that day in their lecture room, as he sat at his desk gazing at the boy who was so focused on making a little sketch of the sun and moon _for him_. At the time, he was just a friend Seoho shared a class with and yet, he had already gone above and beyond his other friends in learning about his passion for the celestial bodies, and understanding how much meeting his soulmate to see them actually meant to him. He was also brought back to how quickly his attention shifted from the drawing to the boy making it, and no matter how hard he tried, his focus always went back to Geonhak, and Geonhak only.

Geonhak caught his eye then, and not even the sunrise of his dreams could stop Seoho from getting his eyes caught up in Geonhak’s presence over and over again. 

Noticing that he still wasn’t turned back to the sea, Geonhak slowly looked over to him, puzzled. “You know, I didn’t drive all night for you to miss this—” but Seoho quickly cut him off, his hands grabbing Geonhak’s face to turn and face him then slotting their lips together with a sigh.

At that point, Seoho knew that little Seoho was all wrong. There was one thing much more beautiful than his first sunrise.

 _He_ was right there with him, arms protectively wrapped around him, with his chin resting on Seoho’s shoulder as they continued to watch the sky turn into a new color, a bright and beautiful blue, with the sun watching over them with its radiant glow. 

And by “they”, it really only was Geonhak watching the sky. All Seoho could look at was his soulmate. 

He could watch many, many sunrises in the future, but none of them could ever compare to the beauty that was Geonhak in that moment.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! this is my first oneus fic + first fic i've written in over 2 years, but i hope you enjoyed it! i love our tom and jerry couple so much, this was a blast to write!! please let me know what you think about it in the comments or hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/mydnightashes) if you want ! :D


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